I Hate Birthdays
by MeltingMetal315
Summary: -1-shot, violence, language-  This is my very first fanfic! Fullmetal was on a simple errand but somehow, it developed into something more, resulting in his friends to get hurt as well. I stink at summaries


I guess this contains either subtle yaoi or parental feelings between Ed and Roy. It really depends on you and how you look at it. Do keep in mind, however, that Roy's 14 years older than Ed. xP

Oh, and it gets rather violent and there's a handful of cursing. I'd say this would be rated PG-13 or T.

You have been warned.

"Roy?" Edward ducked under the crime scene fence, quickly flashing his watch to the policemen in charge of guarding the perimeters. "Roy!" Edward's heart raced. Could Roy possibly be...? No, he couldn't. The Fullmetal Alchemist would never allow... But then again... _SHUT UP, ED! GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!_ The boy thought to himself. _Roy... Don't leave me..._

It was February 3, 1910. Edward's sixteenth birthday. Ed came into the office pretty pissed and sat himself passive aggressively in front of Colonel Mustang's desk.

"What's wrong, Fullmetal? It's your birthday, isn't it? Shouldn't you be happy?" Roy mused with his usual smirk.

"Birthdays are for losers. The things I've seen... the things I've done... why would you think that I would enjoy something as childish as a birthday? A birthday reminds you of the day you were born into this cruel world. A birthday reminds you that you once had a mother and father to conceive you. Birthdays are for children spoiled with the luxury of families, childhood, and irresponsibility. I don't see a reason why I should be enjoying this day. The memories a birthday brings up are too painful," Edward eyes the colonel darkly. His usually gold and shimmering eyes were dark and maleficent.

Roy frowned. "Edward, you know that you're still entitled to enjoying a single day of the year dedicated to you. I understand why you're so huffy about birthdays, but lighten up a little! Even I enjoy my birthday," Roy shrugged. Ed glared at him.

"Look, Fullmetal, if you're going to be so moody, I'll send you off on a quick mission instead of giving you the day off, as I planned," Roy said in an attempt to get the boy to lighten up. He was only turning sixteen. Whether he would admit or not, Edward was still just a child. Maybe he was more mature than most kids his age, but he was still a child. Roy sighed as Ed shook his head defiantly.

"Sorry, Colonel Bastard, nice try. I'd actually rather work and get my mind off things than have to sit around at home with Al nagging at me to go out to dinner or something. I use all my happiness for today with Al. I just want him to be happy," Ed sighed, leaning his automail elbow onto the colonel's desk and pushing his bangs up with his fist.

"Fine, fine, Fullmetal. Let's see... How about helping out some old drugstore with shoplifting problems? Take it easy today, at least?"

"Whatever. Give me the address," Ed rolled his eyes and got up to leave. Roy scribbled down the details on a napkin and handed it to Ed in defeat. Edward snatched it and went off to find the drugstore.

Ed's job was to sit at the surveillance camera all day and watch for shoplifters. He caught about 5 culprits for every hour. Most of them were reckless teenagers... his age. Most of them would threaten him or curse at him, but Ed would transmute a pistol from the ground with a simple clap of his hands and the kids would go flying. Then Ed would have to transmute a temporary prison cell to hold them in until someone working at the store had time to drop them off at the police station. Ed had just about eaten all of the store's candy and chips. After all, Al said that he usually ate out of boredom.

Overall, the day was boring. But Ed liked it that way. If he were to stick around HQ or even stay at home, he would have people coming up to him reminding him of the sate and his age. Sitting around and arresting his stupid and idiotic peers was much more enticing.

Nothing really happened until around five, when the sun began to set. The shop was closing up and Edward was dismissed. The shopkeeper wanted to thank him with payment, but Ed refused. He had basically eaten the store out of stock. No need to take more.

As Ed was swinging on his red cloak over his black jacket, something caught his eye in the street. A red glint. Curiosity took over the young alchemist and he chased after the glint, bidding the shopkeeper a farewell. It was now apparent to him that the red glint came from the thigh of a human-shaped figure. The figure seemed to be wearing only a mini-skirt and a sports bra... in the middle of winter. Ed only knew of one person... or creature, rather, in the world that would be running around in those clothes at this time of year.

Envy.

Edward decided that it'd be best to follow the homunculus. Envy seemed to be in a hurry, so he would most likely be letting his guard down for the sake of time. Ed smirked. The first smile of the day, well, sort of. Keeping up a good pace and a well distance between them, Ed found it easy to run through the snow. All went well until Edward, being the clumsy (and short) person he is, didn't leap over a crate high enough and fell with a loud crash.

Startled, Envy spun around. He searched for the source of the noise and locked his squinting glare on Edward.

"Why if it isn't the Puny Alchemist," Envy taunted, "why were you tailing me, Pipsqueak?"

"Fuck off, Envy. All I want to do is help in the investigation of you... you... things. Besides, I want to avoid going back to HQ. Everyone will be annoying me with my damned birthday," Ed muttered the last part under his breath. However, Envy, with his homunculus senses, could hear him as clearly as glass.

"Huh, so it's your birthday, eh, Pipsqueak? How old are you turning, 8? You're the perfect size," Envy taunted. Edward, however, sprung up and transmuted a giant and was swinging it at Envy's head all within a millisecond.

"WHO YA CALLIN' SO SHORT THAT THEY CAN STILL EAT OFF THE KIDS' MENU?" Ed fumed. Nobody got away with insulting his height four times in a row.

Envy sighed and sidestepped at the last second. The axe dug into the ground, sending Ed into a flip. Being Edward, he landed it.

"ENVY! You're late because you're playing with THIS GUY?" Ed turned around and saw Selim Bradley- no, Pride- standing behind him. "Gah, don't kill him, Envy. He's an important sacrifice!" Pride whined like a little child. Ed chuckled.

"Envy, I'll take care of him, just please don't be so rash next time, you imbecile!" Pride rolled his eyes and stepped back into the shadows. Edward jumped and hid on the roof of a nearby building. He didn't have much time before the homunculi found him and he had no other choice. Even Ed knew that it was impossible to beat a homunculus by himself. Let alone two. Ed whipped out his radio and called Mustang's office as quickly as possible.

"Colonel Mustang," Roy's voice answered smoothly.

"Colonel, it's Ed. I'm in an alley between Hannibal Road and Cordon Street. It's approximately just north of Ozwell Avenue. I have encountered two homunculi, Envy and Pride. I'm alone and have minor injuries. I'm requesting back-up."

"I'm on it, Ed. Sit tight until we get there!" Roy shot up out his seat and ran to the door, throwing it open wildly.

"We need as much back-up as possible! Everyone who can, get out to the alley near Ozwell and Hannibal as soon as possible! We have located two homunculi, one that resembles the Fuhrer's son and another that looks like a giant palm tree wearing a mini-skirt and a sports bra! The Fullmetal Alchemist is holding them off. Fire at will. Act with the intention to kill. Do you understand? Now go!" Roy had been yelling down the busy hallway. He knew that no one but his own men could go and back-up Ed. After all, one of the enemies was Pride, who of course was supposedly the Fuhrer's son.

Roy decided to run down there himself. This was his fault. He put Ed in danger! _Oh Ed, _he thought, _I am so so sorry. I should've made you stay in the office. Now your life is on the line, all because of me. I'll save you. I'll protect you. Please, Edward, please!_

On his way down the hall, he caught up with Riza, who had Breda, Havoc, Falman, and Fuery running behind her. They all packed into Roy's car without a word and Roy drove maniacally to the location.

"Colonel, it's Edward, remember? He'll be fine. Slow down before you kill us all," Lieutenant Hawkeye reassured him from her seat in the passenger side. Roy took a deep breath and followed her orders, half afraid that she would shoot him.

Meanwhile, Ed was barely holding up. He had been found in his hiding spot by Envy, who attacked him and attempted to slash at his head, but missed it by a few inches too tall. Ed, of course, was outrages when Envy shrugged and told him that he was used to fighting tall people, so of course, an infuriated Edward set out to bloodily destroy 'the abnormally tall human imposter.' Pride watched from the shadows, laughing at his younger brother's stupidity. He could hear Envy screaming bloody murder and a very mad Edward chased him around, waving a deathly-looking staff around in the air. Somehow, once Ed cooled down, Envy was able to go offensive and dealed the poor blond some deep cuts and harsh blows. Pride took that opportunity to step in. He wouldn't let the kid die, but why not have some fun with beating him up?

By the time Roy and the team pulled up into the alley, Edward was on the ground, barely holding consciousness, while Envy continued to kick him in the sides. Pride sat on the ground, rolling his eyes at his brother's immature urges for violence. Ed coughed up blood and tried to swing a fist at Envy, but only ended up lightly tapping his leg before coughing up more blood.

Roy's heart skipped a beat. His eyes squinted in rage as he dashed towards the walking palm tree. He used his own body to shove Envy down and quickly swooped up Edward bridal-style. He leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"It's okay, Ed. We're here now. I'm going to hand you over to Riza to take you to the hospital," Roy whispered as he sprinted to the car, where Hawkeye had already switched to the drivers' seat. The men, minus Fuery, the technology technician, had already exited with their arms drawn. Roy gently placed his youngest subordinate in the back seat of his car and nodded to Riza, who drove off towards the hospital.

Once the car was out of sight, Roy turned around towards Envy. A glare spelling out painful death masked his face. Now that Edward was taken care of, all his sadness and worries evolved into pure rage and the urge to kill. Falman and Breda had started battling off Pride while Havoc was tying to hold off Envy.

"HAVOC, GET OUT OF MY WAY! THE PALM TREE'S MINE!" Roy growled. "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU WILL WISH THAT YOU HAD NEVER BEEN GIVEN LIFE, YOU BITCH! WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOU'LL BE NOTHING BUT A SLOW-ROASTING FIRE CRYING OUT IN PAIN! YA HEAR?" Roy charged forward, pulling on both his gloves. He snapped both hands simultaneously and Envy charged. He sprinted to stand in front of Roy, throwing a punch. Roy caught it with his hand and flipped the homunculus over.

Suddenly, there was a shriek as Pride used his shadows to lash Falman, Breda, and Havoc in the abdomen. They all doubled over in pain as Pride proceeded to deal out more lashes.

"Falman, Breda, Havoc! Retreat! Go! NOW! THAT'S A MOTHER FUCKING ORDER!" Roy shouted as he blocked Envy's knife from snagging off his arm. His subordinates obeyed and limped off, around the corner. Havoc, who was injured the least, sat back against the wall, hiding his presence, waiting for a good moment to shoot. The other two limped off towards that hospital.

_Goddammit, where's the rest of the back-up I called for? Shit! _Roy thought as Envy almost cut his chest. Pride sat in the shadows (in the emo corner xP) watching his younger brother. Unbeknownst to his sibling, Mustang was making a very promising fifth sacrifice, and Father had his tabs on him.

At that moment, Envy faked a stab to Roy's chest and pierced his thigh. Roy grunted in pain and faltered. Envy took that chance to stab at his abdomen and then slash at his face. The sin began to randomly strike him. Punch after punch after kick. Roy grunted and slipped out of consciousness as blood flowed from his mouth.

Havoc winced. This was enough. Colonel was being beaten to a pulp. Havoc rushed in, having bandaged his wounds with his shirt and shot uncontrollably at Envy. He caught a glimpse of red eyes in the shadows and whipped out a second pistol and began to shoot at it. Damn it, he was running out of ammunition.

Envy smirked and walked over to Havoc calmly, the bullets not affecting him in any way. Havoc gulped, shutting his eye tightly and averting his eyes. He would die willingly trying to protect the colonel. Roy had given him everything, this job opportunity, his rank in military, even his training. All thanks to Roy. And that's why he was willing to die for that man. The man who was willing to die and was dying for a sixteen-year-old blond alchemist named Edward Elric.

Envy began a running start, his knife, dripping with Roy's blood, ready to stab Havoc and end his life. Havoc braced himself. This was it. This was his final moment of life. He waited for the blow... but it didn't come? Havoc slowly opened one eye, then the other and examined his surroundings. Paramedics were working on Roy on the spot. There were headlights, a lot of them... And Envy was being chased off by... the Fuhrer? Wait! Where was Pride? Jean searched everywhere with his eyes but didn't see him. Pride was the smart one; he probably had already run off. That's when Havoc heard a familiar voice calling out. He turned around, caked with dry blood to see Edward Elric, with a face full of guilt.

"Hey, Chief! It's not a good idea to see Colonel yet. But, don't worry, he'll be alright..." Havoc seemed to be trying to reassure himself more than anything.

"Where's Ro-" And that's when Edward caught site of Roy, being worked on in the alley. Edward stumbled back in surprise. Havoc caught him and put him back on his feet. "R-Roy...! T-this is all my f-fault!" Edward was on the verge of tears. "I shouldn't have done this! I should've listened to him! Now Roy's dying all because of me," Edward sobbed, falling to his knees.

"Look at me, Ed," Havoc crouched down to the boy. "It's not anyone's fault but the homunculi's. Don't beat yourself up, or your own wounds will open. You should be back at the hospital, resting, anyway. Be brave, for the colonel."

Edward nodded slowly. "But if I only had taken today off like he said... And if I hadn't let my curiosity take hold of me... Roy goes out of his way to protect me. He cares about me. He was the one who urged me to become a state alchemist. He's one of the very few who actually respect me. And I completely disobeyed him and defiantly let myself ignore him and now he's dying. Sure, maybe's it's not entirely my fault, but you can't look me straight in the eye and truthfully tell me that I had no fault in this matter."

"Come on, Chief. Let's take you back to the hospital. If your wounds were to reopen, Lt. Hawkeye with shoot me right between my eyes.

Edward nodded slowly and followed Havoc into one of the military cars, where he asked the driver to take them to the hospital. The driver nodded and drove. Nobody said a word the whole ride, except for Edward, who kept sniffling and occasionally sobbing.

_Roy saved my life. He charged into action and used his own self to knock Envy away from me. That must've hurt. And he did it all just to protect me. He basically willingly gave up his life to save mine. Roy... If there really is a god out there, please, oh please help Roy. I can't say I'll give myself up for Roy, though. I have Alphonse to take care of. I have to be there for Al, even if Roy is gone... because of me. Goddammit! Just save Roy! _Edward drew in a sharp pained breath. No, it wasn't from his physical hurt, it was from his mental hurt.

Once at the hospital, Havoc helped Edward out and escorted him to his room before asking for medical treatment for himself. Edward managed to squeak out a thank you between sobs before he entered his room. Ed plopped himself on the hospital bed. There was nothing he could do but wait and pray. Pray to a god that he didn't completely believe in. He was Fate's Bitch, he knew that, but why did it always affect other people around him that he cared so much for? Fuck it all. If there was a god out there, then why would he do this? Placing so much torture upon a small boy during the first 11 years of life and then inflicting even more trauma after.

Edward, caught up in his thoughts, had ceased crying, but jumped when he heard a familiar hollow-sounding voice.

"BROTHER!" Al rushed over, his body clanking loudly.

"Al... This is all my fault. It's all my damned fault," Ed began to tear up again.

"Brother, don't kill yourself over this. Just rest up, okay? They have the colonel here now. He's in the ICU. The doctors say he has a 60% chance of living. Just hold on and wait, okay? It's Colonel Mustang! He's one of the strongest people I know. He'll survive, trust me."

Ed nodded and curled up under the hospital blanket. "Thanks, Al. I really needed that," he smiled before slipping into the darkness of sleep.

Edward awoke later the next afternoon to Lt. Hawkeye shaking him awake. "Edward, get up! You can go see Colonel Mustang now!" Riza smiled down at him. Edward pried his eyes open and stretched. Surprisingly, his automail hadn't been too badly damaged, so Winry didn't have to come out here with her wrench of death... again.

"I can see Roy, now?" Riza nodded and extended her hand to help the boy up. Edward accepted it graciously and followed her down the hospital's twisting hallways and into the ICU. Edward gulped and held back his tears of guilt. Riza opened a door labeled "MUSTANG" with a clipboard and held the door open to Ed.

"Colonel, Ed's here," Riza stated before leaving and shutting the door.

"Roy, I'm so sorry! It's all my fault! I shouldn't have been so rash and all! I should've listened to you! You almost died because of me! It's all my fault! You should demote me! Here! Take my watch! I don't deserve it! I don't deserve life! I don't des-"

"Edward!" Roy smiled weakly. "It was my decision to go in and risk my life for yours! Do you understand that? It's not your fault! And never say that you don't deserve anything you have! That watch of yours? You literally gave up an arm and a leg for it! Your life? Your life is sacred. I would gladly give up my own to protect yours, do you understand? And besides! Look, I'm living! We both are! That's what's important! Ed, everything I did was my choice. Don't beat yourself up!"

"Roy?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"Thanks. For everything," Edward smiled as his eyes began to water up with tears of joy. He used to think that his only family was Al. That Al was the only person in the whole world that cared about him. But he was wrong. He had a family, right here in central. Hughes, Fuery, Falman, Breda, Hawkeye. But mostly and most dear to him,

Colonel Roy Mustang

-END


End file.
